You know that feeling?
You feel down or tense or sad and then someone reminds you how the Law of Attraction means that as long as you're in these vibes, you will attract more negative experiences. Ah, it sucks! I've heard people talk about the Law of Attraction for a long time but I was never very inspired by it, because I wasn't feeling positive vibes, so just being confronted with the idea that my negative vibes were attracting more negative experiences wasn't encouraging or helpful for me at all. But lately things have shifted in my life and currently I'm in very up-beat vibes and keep attracting wonderful experiences and exchanges with people. I want to share with you HOW the shift in vibes can happen. There are 3 key elements to it: 1. Radically CONNECT with yourself, with all your negative emotions and experiences. I've developed a very strong flow of Self-Love, which enables me to embrace myself completely and hold the space for all of my experiences. Sometimes the advice given about the Law Of Attraction is to shift your attention to what you DO want rather than what you DON'T want. And I think there is some value in this, but there is also a risk of overlooking your true experiences and needs. As I understand it, the Law Of Attraction works this way: what you consciously AND UNCONSCIOUSLY feel, think, experience and believe attracts similar situations or specific challenges to learn certain things. So in my experience it doesn't work to only consciously focus on positive things when you still carry old wounds or convictions inside of you. What I find is that you need complete internal alignment and then the Law Of Attraction can work like a miracle. So the first step is to radically connect with yourself, with all that you are. So that you know what's alive in you, what your needs are, what your wounds are that need well-attuned care. Don't be afraid of negative feelings! They exist for a reason, they have something important to tell you. Don't judge yourself for having these feelings. When you can hold them with love and listen to the deeper message they have for you, these negative feelings will naturally transform, leaving no trace of negativity behind and that's when the Law Of Attraction will begin to work FOR you! It can feel daunting to embrace your intense negative feelings instead of pushing them away. If you feel you need help with this, check out the information at the bottom of this article about my offer to guide you through this process. 2. Set the intention to develop a positive and realistic ATTITUDE towards life. I like to stay grounded and real. That's why when I decided to work on my attitude towards life, I chose to not only develop a positive attitude, but also a realistic one. I didn't want to become too dreamy. But I also felt it was time to release some of my negative thinking and beliefs. So I wrote down everything that I wanted to let go of and burnt these papers with the intention of release. My experience with this is that it doesn't solve everything at once, in a 100% way, but it DOES get things into motion. And if you then continue to work on the same issue from other angles, in various ways, you can get REAL CHANGE. After I burnt what I wanted to release, I invited more positive thinking into my life, by consciously opening myself up to positivity, because I genuinely wanted this. I have a friend who has an amazingly beautiful, loving way of looking at life and at people. She is totally open-minded, and has a very positive outlook on life and on people. For many years I have absorbed her way of being through our friendship and I healed through it. Her positive approach to life was so different from my former chronically depressed state. This friend has treated me consistently with love, kindness and openness. And what a blessing this is! What a gift to receive her love and true positivity even when I came in full turmoil to her, many times. It has given me a deep motivation to change my attitude into a more positive one, because I have first-hand experience of how amazing it is to receive this from someone. I bet you are interested in having a positive attitude too, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this post :) As you open up to positivity in your life, I highly recommend to give yourself TIME for this. To change your way of thinking takes time. And when you take time, and keep on radically connecting with yourself throughout, you will take the slow but effective road. You will not just push away your negative thoughts, but explore what they want to tell you and discover which unmet needs they are signalling about. This is very important, because when you push away your thoughts, they always come back! And you have to use a lot of energy to push them away again and again, never really having true peace of mind. So it is much more effective to connect with what's underneath them, whilst also gently opening up to positivity and releasing the negative thoughts you feel ready to let go of. 3. MEET your true needs. Are you well aware of your needs? Do you feel worthy to get your true needs met? These are very important questions. I have learned 3 things about needs over the past 17 years :
Now how does this relate to the Law of Attraction? If you ignore your needs, they don't go away, but they may start hiding in your subconscious and impact your vibration without you realizing it. This can be a direct cause of why the Law of Attraction is not working for you the way you want it to. On the other hand, when you tune into your feelings and become aware of your true needs and then take action to get your needs met, there is a natural inner alignment happening in all of your being. Your vibration will become much stronger and clearer, with no hidden urges towards that things that don’t really serve you. Your vibration will naturally rise from a place of freedom and peace. When you radically connect with yourself, when you develop a realistic and positive attitude towards life and when you do all you can to meet your own needs, that's when you are ready to consciously start working with the Law of Attraction to attract the most beautiful experiences and opportunities into your life. Sounds good ? But maybe not doable on your own? In that case I would like to ask you the following questions: Do you want to develop a loving way of looking at yourself? Is it time for you to break free from limiting beliefs and convictions? Do you want to get to know your own needs and get creative in how to meet them? Would you like to clear up the negative thought patterns that hinder a positive internal flow? Do you feel unworthy of so much positivity but long for a change? Then maybe my Self-Love Program is exactly what you need! In this 2 month online coaching program I guide you to lay a gentle and compassionate foundation for yourself, I help you to work through the obstacles that hinder your Self-Love, I invite you to explore several ways of Self-Love until you find what works for you and then at the end, if you feel ready and want to, you can commit to yourself in your own unique way to make a lasting change. It's a transformational journey which you walk with other sensitive women by your side. Here you can read all about it. This is what people say about the program: “Thank you for this amazing chance for me to meet myself where I am at. Something I have never allowed myself to do before. I feel much closer to being able to accept who I am, and to rejoice in who I am. I feel more confident in what my needs are, and confident in allowing myself these needs. I know that the program is called the Self-Love program, but it is genuinely with some surprise that I find myself, near the end of the program, actually discovering that I love who I am! Thank you for showing me the way!” Alexandra Harris in the UK “I'm feeling really grateful for your help, Annemie. It's been a blessing to have been supported and shown these ways of Self-Love. I'm really excited to see where this takes me. I often think of your example and the aspects of Self-Love day to day. It helps to know you are out there and are living this and practising Self-Love. It`s a little like a beacon to follow!" Rhonda in Canada "The Self-Love program brought me a deep transformation. Thanks to the way Annemie built up the modules, revealing every week something new, I was able to move into loving and accepting myself step by step which was very healing. Annemie made this program with such great love towards people that this healing power of her love and her wisdom made it a true experience into gentle, soft and non-intrusive self-revelation. The program worked so well for me as already in the middle of it I was able to finally heal a very difficult relationship and step out of a very self-destructive mode. I was finally loving myself to the degree I never was able to" Natalie Sanna yoga teacher in Estonia Do you want to experience this too? Send me an email at [email protected] to request your free 20 minute Skype chat to talk about it all. I'm always happy to hear from you! Warmly, Annemie
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“What a strong woman!”, exclaimed with full admiration, most often by a man, and rarely about me.
For a long time I never considered myself a strong woman. The reason being, I'm highly sensitive, easily overwhelmed, sometimes exhausted, emotional, high or low. And while eventually finding a way forward, I spend quality time searching and discovering. I’m not invincible, held together regardless of the circumstances, immune to emotion, or necessarily any of the other stereotypes that some attribute to strength. Today I want to explore my true feminine strength. Here I intend to name it, see it, recognize it and share it with you. My strength My strength is to be gentle, slow and thorough. I choose confrontation when I'm truly ready for it and that takes time. Rarely do I confront harshly and abruptly. Only when I’m cornered and can't immediately find another way to protect myself. Mostly I choose slowness and don't respond right away. I let everything percolate until I find my true answer to a situation. I love deep understanding and connection. I love non-violent communication. I feel my way through situations and conflict intuitively and dynamically. I feel deeply and ground myself in love, and then connect peacefully from that source to really understand what's going on for myself and the other person. You won't easily see me on barricades. Though I support others who do have activist strength and I speak out for causes that are dear to me, you won’t see me using my physical body to stop opposition. It’s too intense for me. Instead I use my heart. I need open communication and mutual understanding too much to be able to thrive in the more fixed and fierce energy of activism. I have tried in the past to obtain results through force and willpower, but doing so didn't bring me satisfaction or any peace. My strength lies in other areas. Healing may be the key word in my life. I have a profound belief in healing. Something that is healed is changed forever. You don't need to take action for it anymore, or put pressure on anyone. A heart that has opened up and is healed will naturally make more loving choices. I choose this slow but sustainable way of healing, because this way suits me completely and fulfils me. It makes my energy flow freely. I can feel within everything that this is right for me. But does this constitute a strong woman? Someone who loves gentleness and slowness so profoundly isn't so readily associated with strength. How do I view myself? How much have I let my self-image be determined by other people's judgments? It's time to take charge of my self-image again! When I look at myself with an open mind, I see a lot of strength, but of a different flavor. A very sensitive strength, constantly attuning, seeking sustainable solutions and with a loving view of situations and people, finding mutual understanding and healing of the pain which is the cause of our difficulties. And this isn’t the full story, because apart from gentle and slow, my strength is also thorough. I choose confrontation when I’m ready for it. I don’t try to avoid possible conflict. On the contrary, deeply grounded in love and compassion, I discuss everything that’s important to me, because I fiercely believe in the value of such confrontations. We learn from receiving honest feedback, even though it can be hard at first. I feel grateful for all confrontations in my life, because I grew in valuable ways through them. I choose to confront people as gently and open-minded as possible, because I’m very well aware that I don’t know the full story of another person and that truly listening to him or her will probably change my view on things. I am fully connected to the appreciation that we all do the best we can. I don’t believe that a human hurts another for no reason. I see time and again, in myself and in everyone I meet, that people only cause damage to other people when they’re having a hard time themselves. A happy or fulfilled person isn’t going to harass other people. It’s a simple insight that changed my whole view on man. I feel a deep love and gentleness for everyone. We all do our very best with everything that happened to us in the past and the things we have to endure in the present, while also handling the pressures and expectations for the future. It’s time to relax and abate, and let our wounds heal, so that we can live our lives differently. That’s my motive and true hope when I confront someone: to create a safe and loving space where insights can come into existence and relaxation and healing can take place. I grant other people the opportunities for growth that I so cherish in my own life and I speak up for the things I care about in my own way. And that makes me thorough. When something happens that doesn’t seem fair, that doesn’t sit well with my sense of justice, I do something about it. I reflect about it and when I’ve found enough space in myself and gained insight into the situation, I start a dialogue about it. Does all of this make me a strong woman? Who can tell? Who do I let determine this? And how important is it to be a ‘strong woman’ and see myself as such? I do feel it’s empowering to consider myself as strong. It boosts my self-confidence and makes me feel more capable to handle life’s challenges. But what is strength? Is it a sign of strength or weakness to ask for help? To reach out for support in complete honesty and openness? Is it brave to be aware of one’s vulnerabilities and care for them with love and tenderness? Maybe it is. --- I wrote all of this a couple of months ago… Re-reading it today I feel the truth about myself is that I am both strong and vulnerable, and that it is my love and care for myself who glues both together to the alive and juicy person I am. I am a blood-sweat-and-tears woman. Sometimes I crash, but I get up again. It may take some time, but I get up again, every time. And I relax when I feel I don’t have to be strong all the time. Just to be myself and to be loved and supported as I am. Each time someone sees my strength in the middle of my vulnerability, my heart is warmed and I feel seen as I am. How do you see strength? Do you dare to share your vulnerability? And do you consider yourself as strong? I’d love to hear your experience and view on this! Warmly, Annemie PS: My next Self-Love Program starts October 2nd. Would you like to bathe yourself in love and learn how to treat yourself with (more) gentleness and care? Pm me for more info or visit the program page: Self-Love Program with Annemie |
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Annemie Nijs - Self-Love CoachDo you long to be more gentle with yourself and feel love for yourself instead of judging yourself? Archives |